Is There a Right Way?

Let's answer an old age question--is there a right way to parent? This is certainly a multi-faceted question and there is no easy answer. Technically, there is no ONE right way to parent but it is your job to determine what the right way is for you. There certainly seems to be a lot of criticisms out there about parenting which can give parents an uneasy feeling that they are parenting the wrong way. I would prefer to cover what we can do to move toward doing things RIGHT for our individual parenting needs.

It is very important to be consistent and positive in your relationship with your child/children. After all, you are the one and most important role model for your child. He/she interacts with you the most on a regular basis and will continue to do so into adulthood. Therefore, the most that the child learns about life in general comes from you! Scary, huh? It certainly does not have to be. Parenting is a choice made by you regardless of your situation so there should be a commitment to that child for the rest of your life. Your child shall never be seen an an inconvenience, nuisance, or problem for you. Keep your feelings about your child positive regardless of their behaviors or actions. This is probably the number one issue I see in families--parents start to resent their children which creates the opposite of a positive atmosphere for the parent and the child.

Do what works for you to keep a positive atmosphere for the parent and child relationship. Do daily affirmations work for you? Mediation? Yoga? Journaling? Exercise? Whatever it is that works for you, do it. Your child will not thrive without a positive relationship with you. Appreciate your child and show him/her that you have this appreciation and love. This positive relationship with your child will maintain security for you and him/her. Security and safety is the number one thing that children crave and it is not ever something they are going to ask you for verbally. They will always ask you for security and safety with their actions and behaviors. This brings me to my next point: THE BEHAVIOR THAT GETS THE MOST ATTENTION WILL BE REPEATED!

Maintaining consistency along with a positive relationship with your child is vital to your success as a parent. Consistency provides the feelings of safety and security for your child. If you do the same things in the same situation every time, your child will learn what to expect from you. When your child does not know what to expect all hell can break loose with behaviors. So, when you are doubting yourself and asking yourself if there is a right way to parent step back and ask yourself if you are providing a positive and consistent environment for you and your child. If you are, you will find that yours and your child's behaviors become positive and consistent and life sure is much easier for the family as a whole.

Until next time,