How to Deal with Negative Advice

I was talking with a family today (a mother and a father) about the types of advice that people want to give out to parents.  We collectively agreed that most people want to hand out negative words of wisdom for parents and parents-to-be.  I, as a parent-to-be, find that people are constantly telling me how awful my pregnancy is going to get in the third trimester and more specifically the last 7 weeks that I have left to be pregnant.  I choose to deal with this by smiling and saying "not every pregnancy is the same, but thanks for the advice". The mother and father that I was visiting with finds this same issue with parenting their two children.  They find that people always tell them "just you wait..." and end with some kind of negative remark or anecdote.  They also choose to stay humble and say "not all kids end up the same".  Here are some ways to deal with this overwhelming negative advice that is projected toward you.

1.  Remain positive and practice positive self-talk.

This is a great way to achieve the inner strength that you need to deal with negative attitudes.  Positive self-talk is also a great way to enhance your parenting.  This practice helps to achieve the confidence necessary to deal with the challenges and joys of parenting children.

2.  Smile and wave.

Ok, maybe not literally but kind of.  When somebody has negative advice to give, most of the time they are looking for some kind of reaction.  The exact reaction they are not looking for is a smile and a positive comment.  This will probably catch them off guard and, who knows, you may have just impacted their life with some positivity by shooting a smile in their direction!

3.  Do not include negative people in your life.

During my conversation today with this particular family, the father said that he experiences negative advice from a specific neighbor of theirs.  He said that every time she comes walking up to their house she has nothing but negative comments to bring.  Finally, he told her if she does not have anything nice to say not to say anything at all!  Ever since then she will not speak to him.  He was not mean to her but simply stated that he wanted positive conversation in his home.  Do not invite negative people in your life.  You have this choice and it is essential to only include positive people for the health and well being of your family. 

The sad truth is that many people in the world focus on negativity and want nothing more than to pass that along to others.  I find this to be especially true toward parents and parents-to-be.  Life is about choices and we certainly have the right to choose our attitude and not let this negativity fall upon us as parents.  This does not mean we have to lash back at these people with an angry attitude but rather smile and remain humble for the sake of our children and ourselves.  Your world consists of your thoughts and choices.  Do well by yourself and make these positive for a very happy and positive existence!

Until next time,