Next, the most important thing aside from feeding your child is to provide your child with some sort of structure or routine in daily life. Children NEED routine and they THRIVE off of routine. Children ask for boundaries and need them in their day to day life. If a child does not have boundaries, routine, and structure he/she does not feel safe in his/her environment. Therefore, if a child does not feel safe he/she tends to panic. Think about how you feel, as an adult, if you do not feel safe. You tend to panic too, don't you? Well, I suggest that you empathize with your child and learn how he/she feels when there is no order in their life. Many parents struggle with the concept of a routine but it is important to understand that you own this routine and it fits into your life, not into anyone else's. When a child knows what to expect on a daily basis, temper tantrums decrease DRAMATICALLY! If you can get these first two steps that I have discussed down to an art you are doing pretty good so far! If you have the mindset that tantrums are normal and you have a daily routine and structure established for your child you have already prevented or reduced your child's tantrums significantly. I bet you didn't think it was this easy, did you? Preventing and reducing tantrums is not hard. Parenting is not hard. We do not need to make it hard. We simply need to be prepared and structured ourselves in order to be successful at this job we call parenting. Now, you may ask what do I do next if my child is still throwing tantrums? Well, I have another step for you! If you've ever remembered a piece of parenting advice before, please remember this: THE BEHAVIOR THAT GETS THE MOST ATTENTION WILL BE REPEATED! This is by far the most important thing to remember about children and probably the most important thing to remember about human behavior in general. If when your child throws a tantrum, you become angry, upset, yell at the child, and throw a fit yourself, well then the child has gotten exactly what they want: ATTENTION. Children love attention and will get it anyway they know how to. I've had parents ask me why a child will want negative attention. Well, as a parent, try to think of times that you give your child positive attention. It tends to be easier to show negative attention than positive attention and children will take either if they are lacking in one. So, praise your child for simple tasks. Let them see you be joyful over their good behaviors. After all, the behavior that gets the most attention will be repeated. If you do not want tantrums and poor behavior repeated then do not pay attention to this. The only exception I have for this is if they are putting themselves or someone else in physical danger. If you want good behavior to be repeated, pay attention to this.
Children follow their parents' lead and we often times forget that. We are teaching and guiding our children on a daily basis and they learn their behaviors from us. They may interpret them differently than we mean for them to be interpreted sometimes but that is why we are called individuals. Appreciate your child's individuality and look at your child as a positively forming individual. Be positive yourself. Say good things, give compliments, avoid the use of the words no, not, can't, won't, don't, etc. We will pass this on to our children. My final and most important piece of advice for preventing tantrums is to show your child love and affection. Children thrive off of this and if they do not receive it they suffer. The suffering may not show immediately but you will notice it eventually. Hug them, kiss them, praise them, and love them. After all, they are a part of you!
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